TRUE ABUSE STORIES: I Hate Him So Much, But I Hate Myself Even More

From a broken family

I came from a broken family. My parents divorced when I was 7 years old and I'm the youngest child.

I always missed my dad after the separation as we were really close.

The kind school teacher

Then I met this teacher when I was in primary school, at 11 years old. He cared for me, gave me extra attention and bought me gifts.

I always stayed back at school so I could talk to him. There was no one at my home as my older siblings were in boarding school and my mum was working from dawn till midnight to support us.

Betrayal

One day, the teacher started to hold my hand, hugged me and even put his hand inside my school uniform.

I was clueless and I didn't stop him. This continued for several months, and I started to like it.

One day, he took me for a drive and then checked us into a motel. He wanted 'that'. I tried to stop him, but he insisted. It was painful.

Only then I realised that this was wrong.

Things will never be the same again

I started to avoid him, I became quiet, I got angry easily and I blamed everyone. But I never said a word.

I really hate my childhood and I don't want to remember anything in the past, but I hate myself even more.

Now, almost 20 years have passed. I became worse. I thirst for lust, I seek for sex, and I always want that.

It ruined me

It ruined me. I blame him for all of these. I hate him so much but I hate myself even more.

I don't know who's to blame. But, I need to build my inner strength first in order for me to fix myself.

COMMUNITY MESSAGE:

If you suspect a child is being abused, or if you need help and have questions about child abuse, please contact:

Social Welfare Department hotline: 1-800-88-3040

WAO Helpline : 03 7956 3488

WCC: 04-228 0342

For more information on child sexual abuse, visit: #StopNurseryCrimes

Source: Syed Azmi Facebook

Picture credits: Fanpop